Why French Children Don’t Throw Their Food… And Why Their Parents Are More Sane
You’ve seen them at supermarkets, in restaurants, and at the park. They thrive in the halls of elementary and middle schools across the nation as well as on the television screen. They control their families with every scream, demand, tantrum, and fiery outburst of an attitude-in-need-of-adjustment. Just what species of pest am I talking about? Entitled children. I’m talking about this crazy, modern form of American parenting where the children call all the shots and behave like monsters. What happened? And more importantly, is there a way that we can raise happier, more respectful, and well-behaved children without all the anxiety?
“Why was it, for example, that in the hundreds of hours I’d clocked at French playgrounds, I’d never seen a child (except my own) throw a temper tantrum?” writes author Pamela Druckerman, “Why didn’t my French friends ever need to rush off the phone because their kids were demanding something? Why hadn’t their living rooms been taken over by teepees and toy kitchens, the way ours had?”
I came across a really interesting article in the Wall Street Journal Weekend Edition this morning: “Why French Parents are Superior” by Pamela Druckerman. (Here’s a link if you’d like to read along: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html.) I tore through the paper and pulled out the Weekend Review. What secrets way within its pages? The French have already given us the language of love, delectable cuisine, the Statue of Liberty, and help winning the Revolutionary War. Could they possibly hold the secret to easier parenting as well?
Research has shown that American middle-class mothers consider it more than twice as unpleasant to deal with their kids than do French mothers. One group of parents even said that housework was more pleasant than child care. I’ve met so many mothers who balk when I say we homeschool, proclaiming “I couldn’t stand to spend so much time with my children!” What gives? When did spending time when one’s own children become a terrible chore? Why is this not a problem in other countries, such as France? Perhaps it’s how we approach parenting.
Middle-class French parents are much like us. They talk to their kids, read to them, and take them to lessons and classes and museums. Like us, they want their child to grow up to be an educated, well-rounded individual. The difference? “The French have managed to be involved with their families without becoming obsessive,” writes Duckerman, “They assume that even good parents aren’t at the constant service of their children, and that there is no need to feel guilty about this.”
Here are some things that really stood out to me:
-French babies sleep through the night from 2-3 months. Their parents don’t pick them up the second they cry, allowing the babies to learn to fall back asleep.
-French children don’t throw tantrums in restaurants because they’re taught to sit happily. They aren’t allowed to snack all day like American children. They have one snack a day and have to wait until meal time to eat.
-French children learn to play by themselves at a very young age. Parent’s don’t have to entertain their child 24/7!
-While self-control is increasingly difficult for American kids, French kids are taught how to delay gratification.
-French parents hone the virtue of patience. They have firm boundaries and the parents have authority.
-French parents teach their child manners! Children should say hello, goodbye, thank you, and please. It helps them to learn that they aren’t the only ones with feelings and needs.
One thing that stood out to me the most in this article is the authority French parents hold. They’re not afraid to tell their child that “It’s me who decides.” ”Many French parents I meet have an easy, calm authority with their children that I can only envy,” the author writes, “Their kids actually listen to them. French children aren’t constantly dashing off, talking back, or engaging in prolonged negotiations.”
How does this work? When a child misbehaves, tell them no sternly and give them a look of admonishment, widening your eyes and trying to look disproving. Don’t shout. Speak with conviction. Don’t be afraid to say no!
For you bleary eyed parents out there who are up with your child many times a night, it’s time to say no longer. For you parents with the screaming three-year old, strop giving into his demands and teach him to wait. For you parents of disrespectful adolescents, take back the reigns of control and tell them, “It is me who decides.” There is another way. Parenting doesn’t have to be so hard, nor so miserable.
When Druckerman’s new book “Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting,” comes out on Tuesday, I can’t wait to buy it and dig right in. I love learning about how people do things differently around the world… especially when they do them more successfully. Despite their problems, perhaps we American parents can learn a thing or two about child-rearing from our French counterparts.
Excuse me now, I need to go practice my stern look of admonishment. I know a certain toddler who needs to see it next time she decides to run full-steam-ahead out of the playground and toward the street. 
Related articles
- Zut! Can the French really be parents sans pareil? (telegraph.co.uk)
- French Children Don’t Throw Food… (ameliatorode.typepad.com)
- Are French parents better than American parents? (sfgate.com)
- S’il-Vous-Plait: Raising Your ‘Bebe’ The French Way (npr.org)
- French Children Don’t Throw Food (afashionablelifeforme.com)
- French parents: Non, non and non (economist.com)
Three Kids with Hammers and Nails= Three Unique Dinosaur Creations and a Roaring Good Time
Woodworking teaches kids to follow directions, enhances fine motor skills, teaches patience, boosts self-confidence, and results in a creation they can be proud of. That is why we love Lowe’s Build-and-Grow workshops Today my three little builders created ferocious T-rexes. They had so much fun!
Even Derek is an avid builder!
What do I do next, Daddy?
Look who is building without crying!
My most beautiful builder 
Hubby was home today and I talked him into coming to help with the class. He came and tried convincing me he’d be most helpful walking through the store with Bella. That would be helpful, but not as helpful as directing three children with a woodworking project. I brought snacks for Bella and while she wasn’t happy to be in the stroller, she did stay there and eat her snacks. Three young children each building a rather complicated project is quite a challenge!
Each child laid their supplies out in front of them and we all read the steps together, one at a time. Hubby and I helped the kids line up their parts and start the nails, then the kids nailed them the rest of the way. We did one step at a time and made sure everyone was done before moving to the next step. This teaches the kids to work together and also to be patient. They talked each other through the more difficult parts of the project. They also worked on sorting and size comparison to find the correct size nails from their bags.
The project was a bit complicated, but we made it through without having to re-do very many parts. The only child who was a bit to anxious to get ahead was Alex, who nailed the wrong piece of dinosaur onto the wrong side of the wrong part. Ooops. Mom fixed it and told her to listen and wait for the rest of the kids to finish.
Ethan's "Special" Dinosaur
Look what we made!
The kids were all very proud of their dinosaurs and covered them with stickers. Like their own personalities, each child’s dinosaur was all very different. Bella wanted her own dinosaur too. Perhaps in a few months we’ll let her try as well. That seems super young, but Derek began his first woodworking class at age 2 when Hubby was deployed. It’s a fun and important part of all of their educations.
The best part of the class is that each kid comes home with a new, free toy. They’ve been playing with their dinosaurs for the last few hours now, roaring happily and stagingbattles between the warring tribes of dinos. I think it’s a win-win situation. They learned a lot AND they have something new to play with.
If you haven’t tried Lowes’ Build-and-Grow Workshop, you definitely should. It’s free, twice-monthly, and so much fun. Next month we’re going to make valentine’s boxes and race cars. The kids get certificates and badges each time as well. The boys have the bad habit of pulling their badges off their aprons, but Alex has developed quite a collection. You can sign up online for their free classes. It’s so much fun! Perhaps we’ll see you there.
This is so cool!
Our Herd
Related articles
- New Experience #3: Build and Grow (52brandnew.wordpress.com)
Turn of that TV! Real Life is Way Better
Watching the Airshow From Our Front Window
As parents, we tend to take the American Academy of Pediatrics‘ advice pretty seriously. We make sure we have proper car seats and feed our children nutritious meals. We take heed of advice to give our kids extra vitamin d to prevent brittle bones and keep on top of BPA warnings. Yet, when the American Academy of Pediatrics tells parents not to let children under 2 watch Tv, we tend to laugh in their face. They’ve been saying this for years and recently put out another warning, reminding parents that TV viewing for young children does harm and has no beneficial side effects. Did you listen?
Did you read this study? Check it out: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/19/health/19babies.html
Why is TV viewing harmful for little kids? Lots of reasons, really. Babies who watch lots of tv speak later. Theylearn 8 fewer words per day, on average, than their less media-intoxicated peers. That’s huge over time. They don’t spend nearly enough time interacting with real people and playing with real toys. A baby will learn more from playing with real blocks than from watching blocks on the screen and more about a real fish than a fish on Baby Einsteins. Also, children who watch lots of tv are more apt to develop attention deficit disorder and other problems. They are less likely to exercise and more likely to be obese.
There is no such thing as educational TV for little kids. Baby Einsteins and Brainy Baby? Yep, my older kids watched them when they were little. Was it a good idea? Probably not. I drank the cool aid and thought they would give my babies an academic edge. They didn’t. It was a well-marketed scam.
Did you know that watching too much TV or spending too much time on the Internet or gaming actually rewires your brain? According to a study cited on page 187 of Gabrielle Principe’s Your Brain On Childhood, a researcher was able to change adult’s brain wiring after just five hours of Internet time. After five hours, people’s brains had rewired! These were adults. Now… imagine what heavy media exposure does to a small child’s developing brain.
It’s very common for young kids to watch hours of tv today. We’re not perfect. My kids have watched more than their fair share of Disney Junior. If it were up to my three-year-old, he’d watch episodes of Jake and the Neverland Pirates all day long. He turns into a couch potato when the TV’s on! Reading Your Brain on Childhood really opened my eyes and I’ve made a conscious effort each day to keep the tv off. One episode of a favorite cartoon here and there and maybe a movie, but the tv is no longer on for hours at a time. I try to keep 18-month-old Bella away from tv-watching period. Instead of popping in a Brainy Baby DVD to entertain her, we play with toys, read books, and explore the world around us in a natural and hands-on way.
The results have actually been amazing. There was a lot of whining about watching cartoons for the first week. Now my three-year-old is doing other things. He gets deeply involved in pretend-play with his building blocks and pirate ships. He pretends to be a pirate outside, using sticks for swords and the play equipment for a pirate ship. He never did that before. 20 minutes was the extent of his outdoor play time before and he just wanted me to push him on a swing or ride his trike. Now he gets wrapped up in a glorious game of pretend play that can last for hours. We’re spending so much more time actively playing, reading, and simply having fun. This is the smart son I know and love. I adore watching him play and learn, acting out intricate storylines between his toys. That beats an hour of Disney any day! Derek has learned to entertain himself!!! Hooray!
Right now my kids are glued to the front window, watching the airshow outside as the baby sleeps upstairs. They’re talking and laughing. Alex is tracing and Derek is playing with his dinosaur figurines on the window ledge. The TV is off. Real life is way better, and so much more educational. When Bella wakes up, we’re heading outside to nature’s classroom (our yard). No Saturday morning cartoons in this house.
I know it’s tempting to let your kids zone out to the ever-growing presence of screens in out homes, but don’t. Interact with them and let them experience life first-hand. Are you up for the challenge?
What’s In a Name? Labeling the “Different” Child
Today’s a big day, full of testing and exams at the local children’s hospital. Unfortunately, this has been a too-common occurence in Ethan’s 5-year-life. He has a variety of special needs and doesn’t grow normally. In fact, no one believes me when I tell them he’s turning 5 this month because he’s so small. Our other three children are healthy and normal size, tall even. Yet with Ethan, things have never been straightforward.
I thought it would be the perfect time to share an article I wrote last year about our quest to find a diagnosis.
What’s In a Name? Labeling the “Different” Child
From the moment he was born, Ethan was different. He scowled at cooing strangers and cried when they tried to make him laugh. Even at 3 ½, he was content to sit for hours staring out the window. He disliked other children and chose to throw screaming, hitting, headache-inducing temper tantrums rather than use his extensive vocabulary to express himself. Dozens of doctor’s appointments got us nowhere, with advice ranging from “he’s normal” to “he’s needs serious help, but I can’t help you.” We were going nowhere fast and I was running out of patience.
I knew what I wanted: real, concrete answers. I wanted a label, something that would explain his unusual behavior and tell me what I needed to do to help him learn and develop. This magical diagnosis would end the wild emotional rollercoaster I had been riding since his birth. Next time he started screaming uncontrollably at a play group or restaurant, I could simply bring out the label and the other parents would understand. There would be therapy sessions and special schools, and my difficult son would be “fixed.” Right?
The Argument For Labeling
The US has more programs, services, entitlements, and laws for people with disabilities than any other nation or at any other time in history. In order to gain access to these programs, a diagnosis by a health care professional is required. No label, no support.
Another reason why a label may be useful is when explaining a child’s odd behavior to others. “For autistic students, I actually think [a label] is helpful for those around them (kids and adults) to be able to understand the unique characteristics that they possess,” says Gena Penland, a mother and former teacher from Tampa,Florida, who taught autistic students before the birth of her son. “Lets face it, a lot of times, those kids appear very weird to those around them and this gives them a way to understand why they are behaving that way. It gives everyone around them a preconceived notion as to what the child is going to be like. However, as soon as someone gets to know the child, they are able to see the personality over the disability.”
Early intervention and therapy programs are life changing, teaching disabled children the skills they need to grow and develop to the point where they may one day be able to care for themselves and live healthy, independent lives. “The funding and services available to those with the label are much greater than those without,” Penland said, “Once you are diagnosed with autism, it opens a lot of doors for individual therapy, special schools, etc… that would normally not be available.”
Jill Orr, a mother of two and former teacher living in Las Vegas, Nevada, found that her son Renin’s autism diagnosis opened countless doors to him that were firmly shut before. Orr knew there was something not quite right about her child from the time he came home from the hospital. “He cried all the time and wouldn’t nurse,” Orr said. “Renin was an all around difficult kid.” As he grew older, he wasn’t talking or developing as his brother had. She took him to numerous pediatricians and specialists and received 8 different diagnoses. Some doctors told her that her son would simply outgrow his issues. Others warned her he would never be a functioning adult. In the end, she knew that her son was autistic.
Labeling her son made him eligible for therapy programs and special help in school. It also helped her learn how to handle her son’s differences. “It’s made me more patient,” Orr said, “I quit thinking it was my parenting, so I could replace the guilt with knowledge. I quit feeling guilty. It has made getting help so much easier. I knew where to go, what to read, what success stories to listen to, and what to filter out.”
Was I searching too hard for what was “wrong” with Ethan, and not paying enough attention to what was “right”? Who was this ideal child I wanted him to be, this perfect kid whose every characteristic was right on for their age group? How realistic was that anyway? If I labeled Ethan as antisocial and mentally delayed, was I causing others to view him this way as well? How would this effect his developing self-image?
It turns out, there are quite a few disability professionals who adamantly believe that labeling a child is detrimental. Author and disability-rights activist Kathie Snow believes it’s wrong to label kids because they tend to become defined by their disease or disorder rather than by their unique personality, characteristics, or talents. “How many individuals with disabilities have asked to be segregated, treated, poked and prodded, excluded, or told they don’t meet someone else’s definition of “normal?” she says. “Like gender and ethnicity, disability is simply one of many natural characteristics of being human.”
Snow’s son Benjamin is different. He is wheelchair bound, but that hasn’t stopped him from playing sports, excelling at school, and enjoying a fulfilling life. “Tools, accommodation, and support—not achieving normalcy or an artificial level of readiness—are what people with disabilities need to be successful,” Snow says in her article “Disability is Natural: Revolutionary Common Sense for Parents” (http://www.disabilityisnatural.com/). “When we believe disability is natural, we’ll recognize having that a disability simply means a person has a body part—legs, arms, eyes, ears, brain, or whatever—that works differently. That’s all! We’ll know a disability cannot define a person’s potential, humanity, or character.”
Disability shouldn’t run a child’s life, nor should it define who they are. They are more than their disease or disorder. The Developmental Disabilities Assistance and Bill of Rights Act sums it up quite nicely: “Disability is a natural part of the human experience that does not diminish the right of individuals with developmental disabilities to enjoy the opportunity to live independently, enjoy self-determination, make choices, contribute to society, and experience full integration and inclusion in the economic, political, social, cultural, and educational mainstream of United States society.”
The old adage “actions speak louder than words” speaks volumes when it comes to labeling. A label can be embarrassing and emotionally damaging to a child. They are busy developing their sense of self and where they fit in within their world, and are being bombarded with the idea that there is something wrong with them. This has huge consequences for their self esteem and the effects may last for a lifetime. Labels often inhibit others from getting to know a child personally, and can limit their opportunities. Labels stick forever.
A child’s disability is just one of his many characteristics. He’s also smart, funny, cuddly, and adorable. How must it affect him to always hear there’s something “wrong” with him?
Finding Balance
A disability is not a curse. It doesn’t make a person bad, wrong, or inferior. It’s merely a part of their body that works differently from that of other people. According to the US Census Bureau, 19% of the American population had a disability of some sort as of 2005. That’s nearly1 in 5 people. There’s nothing unnatural about it.
I wanted a label for my son, Ethan, so that I could learn how to best help him learn, grow, and develop. I wanted to understand what was going on in his head when he threw an uncontrollable fit or cried for hours on end. Doctors, therapists, psychologists, and teachers are available to us now that we have a diagnosis that never were before. Ethan is exactly the same child he was before, but the label makes the medical world listen to us.
His diagnosis also raised many more concerns. As our pediatrician detailed all the types of therapy available, my mind started racing. There are four children in our family. How would I devote adequate time to each of them if I was taking Ethan to hours of therapy each week? What about taking the other kids to school and letting them participate in extracurricular activities? How would I help my “different” son without making it all about him? How could I let each of my kids live a normal childhood and keep them from resenting Ethan for being different?
Kathie Snow experienced this dilemma with her son Benjamin. “I did what I had to do to ensure our family’s harmony, peace, autonomy, and privacy,” Snow said, “We replaced therapies with more natural activities that worked for all of us and still met my son’s needs.” Hours of therapy for one child can shortchange the other family members. Snow recommends learning from the professionals, then finding activities that help your child’s development while allowing the entire family to be involved.
Jill Orr takes her son to social club at school to improve his social skills 2 days a week and has replaced traditional occupational therapy with kung-fu classes. Her sons are able to take these classes together and bond. They’ve also done music classes, horse therapy, and tutoring together. It’s important that they both feel involved and important. Most importantly, “it has to work out for your whole family,” Orr says. It’s not only about how the child with the disability reacts. It’s about how the family learns to function and grow together as a unit.
Gena Penland understands the challenge families face when balancing the special needs of one child with those of the family. “I think that has to be a decision that each family has to make. They have to find a way to give each child what they need without imposing on the others,” she says, “My advice would be to evaluate the therapies and activities that are most important/helpful and go from there. If a child has an obvious behavior issue (aggression, violence) then that needs to addressed to be sure the rest of the family is safe!”
Ethan will most likely never love being around people or go out of his way to make friends. He’ll be the man who likes to be left alone and do his own thing. He will face many challenges in his life, and the best thing I can do as his parent is to accept him for all his quirks and eccentricities and find ways to help him overcome his challenges. With the right support, tools, and accommodations I’m sure he will thrive.
My end-all goal isn’t for him to be exactly the same as everyone else. It is something simpler, something I hope for my other children as well: happiness, independence, and acceptance. Ethan will always be different, but he’s my son and I can’t imagine him any other way.
Really Cute Song for Teaching Opposites!
Cover of Opposites (Concept Sliders)
I came across an adorable song today for reinforcing opposites and just had to share! It’s called “Opposites” and it comes from the Scholastic Professional’s Book “50 Learning Songs Sung to Your Favorite Tunes- Teach & Delight Every Child With Skill-Building Songs That Are Fun to Sing & a Snap to Learn!” by Meish Goldish. That’s a lot of title!
I introduced the song during Circle Time at the start of our school day. The kids weren’t sure what to think the first time through, but after a few times they were having a blast. I would start each sentence, “You say hot (or whatever) and I say _____.” They would shout out the second word and liked trying to beat their siblings to the punch. My 5-year-old still struggles a bit with opposites and my 3-year-old is just learning them, so this was an awesome way to reinforce the concept! I overheard them singing (aka shouting) the song at/ with each other during free play time. Yeah!
Why do we bother teaching opposites? To get technical, teaching opposites is one of the first steps to developing higher level thinking. They help us recognize relationships between words and concepts. Opposites are one of the basic concepts young children need to master in order to grasp reading, writing, listening skills, math, and following directions. Opposites also teach kids lots of new vocabulary words and help them learn to describe their environment. Kids who gain a solid foundation with the basics do better academically later on.
That’s a lot of responsibility for such a simple concept. Here’s the song:
Opposites
(sung to “Ten Little Indians”)
You say yes, and I say no,
You say stop, and I say go,
You say fast, and I say slow,
These are opposites!
You say day, and I say night,
You say dark, and I say bright,
You say heavy, I say light,
These are opposites!
You say big, and I say small,
You say short, and I say tall,
You say none, and I say all,
These are opposites!
You say wet, and I say dry,
You say low, and I say high,
You say laugh, and I say cry,
These are opposites!
You say hot, and I say cold,
You say bought, and I say sold,
You say young, and I say old,
These are opposites!
You say fat, and I say thin,
You say lose, and I say win,
You say out, and I say in,
These are opposites!
What Does It Mean To Learn?
~ Learning ~
Written By Jennifer Melville
Learning is a moment of pure magic.
It’s the second a child discovers he is capable of more than he ever imagined, that his hands can create and make better, destroy or change.
It’s that spark of accomplishment glimmering in his eye when he finally laces that last bead,
The brilliant smile that brightens his face as he proudly displays his paint-splattered masterpiece.
Learning is that look of concentration that means he’s trying his hardest, the look of fierce determination proclaiming he’ll do anything to achieve his goal.
Learning happens every moment. It never ceases, never rests.
Learning happens as naturally as he breathes.
Each sight, sound, and touch, every scent and taste is fresh and exciting.
Every new discovery reveals a hidden passageway. Every new book begins a new adventure. His mind bursts with dinosaurs and pirates, sail boats and far off lands. No movie nor book can compare to his limitless imagination.
Nothing will stop him because you’re there to hold his hand. With you by his side, his possibilities are boundless.
Learning cannot be contained within the walls of a room nor the shores of a continent. It cannot be contained within a bottle or packaged “one-size-fits-all.” It is desired by all yet cannot be defined.
It’s a shapeless, airy sprite, incapable of capture yet available to all whom desire it.
Learning is the greatest gift of God to man, and of man to child.
It cannot be stolen away or outgrown. It never fades or goes out of style.
It does not discriminate by wealth or race or creed. Any who want it may have it, and there’s always enough to go around. The cup of knowledge runeth over.
Learning is a connection between parent and child, a force stronger than blood. Not even death can take away the knowledge a parent bestows upon his beloved child. A good education is the greatest gift ever granted.
To learn is to be alive. To learn is to be human and to uncover the mysteries and splendor of life.
It never ends nor does it fail. It can only make one stronger.
Learning is what makes this life worthwhile.
Knowledge is the ultimate expression of love.
Our New Adventure: Homeschooling!
Kitchen Science!
School starts in Duval County next week and I’m nervous. Why? It’s not because of early morning bus drop-offs or conflicting schedules. It’s not because of intense homework loads or childcare issues. I’m nervous for an entirely different but great reason. We began homeschooling our 4 children this summer and love it. It just seems so much more real now that they won’t be joining their classmates in the bus-line! This fall marks our official début as a family of homeschoolers.
We happened upon homeschooling this spring as a last-ditch effort to turn our son’s behavior around. Ethan has social anxiety disorder, among other things, and was placed into the local public school‘s “mixed abilities” preschool class to help him overcome his difficulties. After six months in school, he was a changed child… and unfortunately not in a good way. Rather than improving, my normally docile son had become aggressive. He hit and kicked his teachers when asked to do simple things he didn’t like to do. His temper tantrums were out of control. I was being called at home because of behavioral issues several times a week. Not only that, the boy who was so confident in naming his letters, colors, and shapes suddenly couldn’t seem to name any of them anymore. The boy who had been in speech therapy for so long was becoming extremely difficult to understand when he spoke, perhaps because he was modeling his speech after other severely handicapped classmates (I’m not sure exactly the reason). Finally, in mid-spring, the problem hit a terrible peak. I was driving home one afternoon when I got a call from a familiar number: the office. The problem was not so expected. Ethan had been put in time out for throwing a tantrum and had started an electric fire by sticking something into an uncovered outlet. The fire had been quickly put out and no one else was hurt, but Ethan had burned his arm quite badly and I needed to pick him up right away.
I was in a blind panic and drove across town as quickly as possible. His teacher relayed the story again, including the fact that she couldn’t possibly watch every kid at every moment and stating that it was “both of our faults” this happened. My son could have been killed while in her care. He did know better, but I don’t blame him for being improperly supervised or for his classroom being improperly childproofed. My husband and I had discussed what we should do about his deteriorating behavior for a while now and this sealed the deal. Ethan would be homeschooled. We had a lot of work to do.
I’ll have to admit, I wasn’t particularly thrilled at the prospect of homeschooling Ethan. I didn’t want to deal with his intense issues 24/7. I enjoyed the break from him and his tantrums. Yet, what we were doing wasn’t working. Public school was definitely not the answer.
We plunged into homeschooling head first. The first few weeks were rough, his outrageous behavior getting on my last nerve. Then something miraculous began to happen. Ethan’s outbursts decreased dramatically. He started smiling more. With help from his behaviorist, he began engaging and really enjoying learning. After a few months, most of his troublesome behaviors had vanished. He was learning. He was thriving! He didn’t act out aggressively or cry and scream when things didn’t go exactly his way. The difference was night and day. The Ethan of today is practically unrecognizable from the Ethan of 6 months ago.
When school let out for the summer, I began homeschooling my older daughter Alexandria as well. She’s a very advanced little reader with a passion for learning. She had fun at school, but was always bored out of her mind and getting into trouble for talking. She was the “teacher’s helper” because she was too far advanced. She wasn’t pushed to learn anything further either. This summer we tried something new. I let Alex learn at her own pace. The results were amazing. We did school each morning of the workweek, learning grammar, phonics, math, social studies, science, piano, French, geography, and more. We read hundreds of books and went on lots of great field trips. We made learning fun and challenging and had an absolute blast together. Alexandria exploded academically. Her expanding vocabulary and knowledge base blow me away.
My husband and I had a revelation. We had stumbled upon something big. We did our research and discovered that other homeschooling families were having similar successes. Homeschooling is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to the failing public school system and homeschoolers are thriving. They do as well as or better than their public school peers across the board. According to HSLDA (The Homeschool Legal Defense Association), homeschoolers score in the 85th percentile on national achievement tests while public school students score in the 50th percentile. Colleges are seeking them out. They’re entering the workforce as well-educated, well-rounded, capable, and self-motivated citizens. Was this really an option for us?
We had a ton of questions. How would homeschooling work with my husband’s busy work schedule? How would I juggle teaching and my own writing career? How could I successfully integrate the younger children into the school day? How would our lives change, and were we ready for these changes?
It turns out, it’s super easy to homeschool in the state of Florida. Simply write a letter of intent, send it to the proper office, and you’re set. At the end of the year, have a teacher evaluate a portfolio of your child’s work. We began searching for curriculum and choosing a wide variety of materials. We dove into homeschooling and found out that it was a great match. The children love their school time and we’ve had countless fun, productive, and memorable mornings this summer. We’ve become involved with our local homeschooling community and have made some great new friends. Not only are the children learning more than they ever would in our local public school, but we’ve also become closer as a family. I’ve learned how to enjoy spending time with my children a whole lot more than I used to. The children have learned to enjoy each other’s company more as well.
We’ve discovered that there’s a whole new world out there that doesn’t involve public schooling. I don’t have to worry about music, art, or PE being cut from my daughter’s school. Funding and budget cuts aren’t a problem. I don’t have to worry about bullies or peer pressure (too much anyway). I know who my children’s’ friends are and what their families are like. I can help my children reach their true potential in this amazing day and age. With the internet and a city full of classes and social activities, there’s a wealth of knowledge right at our finger tips.
This is the story of how one busy, bustling military family came to be a family of homeschoolers and the lessons we’ll learn along the way.
Related articles
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- Homeschool Planning: Back to Homeschool (thehappyhousewife.com)
- Announcing a New Resource Dedicated to Homeschool Fiction (prweb.com)
- Applying College Well : Tips for Homeschoolers (education.com)
- Do Parents Have a Right to Homeschool? (education.com)
